Educate2Liberate

“You know, we don’t let her cry herself to sleep. We always put her to sleep when she is tired.” The hubs said this to a friend today. The friend replied, “Oh, really?”

I was so proud of the hubs. It took me a long time to get him on board with my style of parenting. At first, he had always thought that babies are to put themselves to sleep. I remember when she was only a few weeks old he asked, “Can’t you just let her cry and put herself to sleep?” At first I said no for a couple reasons. I knew it was way too young to do CIO, but also it just felt so wrong. I said I would wait until she was a little older. A little older came and went. It just never felt right to let her cry. To me, crying is her only form of communication. I couldn’t dismiss her needs. I also couldn’t force her to do something she was not ready to do on her own. You don’t stand up a newborn and let them go, only to let them fall because they “need to learn to stand”. No, you don’t. You wait until they are able to do it on their own. You wait until they are mentally, emotionally and physically able to do it on their own. Pushing her to “learn” to sleep on her own just felt wrong on so many different levels.

I had many battles with the hubs on this one. He said I was ruining her. He said that she would always need us to go to sleep. He damn near despised me because of the fact that I refused to let her CIO. I put my foot down. I know relationships are about compromises, but there was no way I would budge on this one. There are actually a number of things I will not budge on (full term breastfeeding, child led weaning, no CIO, no circumcision, home schooling, etc) and he gets angry about it. I explain to him the reasons I refuse (yes, NO compromises) and the research behind it all. I explain to him how it will negatively affect her future and how it will positively affect her future. I think at that point he is more accepting of my parenting style. Slowly, but surely he is hopping on board. Might I add that he is a baby-wearing daddy! He has loved to wear our daughter since she was a newborn… awe – I am almost crying because he makes me so proud.

Until today, I have never heard the hubs proudly share that we do not CIO. It was a heart-melting moment and made me smile inside and out. Not only did he share this with a friend, but it was a male friend! When the friend was in shock that we do not CIO, the hubs repeated it with a smile on his face. He was proud to not CIO. I almost couldn’t believe my ears. Finally success and the success felt so good.

I know he disagrees with a lot of things that I am adamant about, but I feel that twenty years down the road he will appreciate the fact that I was so stern about my decisions. I am almost certain that he will thank me. If you truly feel adamant about something that will affect your child, stand strong! Don’t be a pushover. I may be a little on the extreme side, but my child’s future is more important than a little hump in my relationship with dear dad.

“Good instincts tell you what to do long before your head has figured it out” -Michael Burke

Until tomorrow… peace & love!